Work and Faith and Sin and Goodness...and so on

Hello visitors! How are you today? Things on my end are great this morning (you may be here in the afternoon or evening, but I am writing this in the AM) I have been doing some major soul searching here lately...
(SOOOOULLLL!!!! Where aaarrrreee you? Who aaaarrrreee you?, etc...)

I am reading books, blogs, daily devotionals, praying, seeking, searching. I am getting tired, though. I really must admit it.
You know how when your eyebrows need waxing and your mustache needs trimming ;)
and your legs need shaving and you have to pick out the right outfit and then you fix your hair and apply your makeup just so? You know how tiring that is? Well, trying to primp and pluck and shave and fix your soul is just like that, but ten times more exhausting.

Evaluation:
God breathed? yes or no
peaceful? yes or no
patient? yes or no
loving? yes or no
encouraging? yes or no
giving? yes or no
selfless? yes or no
honest? yes or no
cleansed? yes or no

whew!!!

I really want to be the best for God that I can be. Honest and true and emanating His love. The thing about is, am I trying to work at it or letting Him work at it for me? I mean I WANT to go to heaven. I want to see Jesus face to face and worship God and all of His glory with all of my fellow believers. Hands raised, mouths opened in song, joy flowing, etc...

So, the reason I am trying really hard to evaluate my soul is because I was the number one
"Grace can't be enough for me, maybe if I do this or change that or go here or smile like this; then God will love me more and it will add more points to my Heaven tally"
Each time I slipped up in sin... overwhelming guilt would flood my being and I would think, I have got to do something to make up for this really quick.....let me go grab my Bible or let me go bake someone a cake.

Someone once said to me. "you have a hard time accepting God's grace, huh? Why do you think you aren't worthy?" This really got me thinking. I thought that I thought that I was worthy of grace, do I not think that now? Too many thoughts.

Which leads me to this:
"For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith --and this not from yourselves, it is the gift of God--" Ephesians 2:8.

HERE! Right here!!!!!!! This is what is happening

God: (tap, tap)...ummmm hello? Rachel!
Rachel: Me?
God: Yes, you!
Rachel: Yessss sssiiiirrrr???
God: Hi there! Remember me? Almighty, Beginning and the End, Alpha and Omega, Bright and Morning Star?
Rachel: Yes Sir
God: Oh, well you have been acting lately like you didn't remember me. Anyway, I see you have been trying to get to heaven by not accepting my grace and thinking your good deeds and works were going to get you there. Is this true?
Rachel: Well, yes...but you see...
God: Um Hum, that's what I thought. Well listen, what part of "You cant get to Heaven by works and deeds without faith" Don't you understand? I know you love me, but if you are going to love me; then you have to believe me. My grace is sufficient for you. I have never lied and never will lie, I am not going to change my mind and say..."Hey, Peter....post a sign at the pearly gates that says effective March 19, 2022 all those who enter need to grab the evaluation form that I set up by Pearly Podium number 1 and check off all the good deeds they have done verses their sin and we're strictly letting in now on a "Works Alone" basis...so those who kinda took it one day at a time...you know, all leisurely, just accepting my love, grace and having Faith in my promises and believing in my Son...they will know you had to work harder. This ain't no free ride up here!"
Rachel: (nervous laughter)
God: But seriously, Rachel. What do you think I sent Jesus to earth for? I let Him come so that all may have an abundant life (John 10:10) and no sin has a hold on you that I cant cover and cleanse (Romans 6:14). You see, you can't work harder than everyone on earth and think that my grace is not what provides for you (1 Corinthians 15:10)

It has taken me many years to understand that God's love and grace is all I need to cover me. I must have the FAITH not the works to believe and receive. I mean works are fine, we are supposed to do good deeds and all that...but, without faith, it is impossible to please God (Hebrews 11:6)

So anyway, Honestly...this blog was more for me than for you. If you get something out of it, great...if not, I am sorry if I wasted your time. (not really) ;)

I think because we are always having to strive to prove ourselves to people and work and society, that we think it is the same with God. The joyous, glorious thing about it is....God's not the same as that, we don't have to prove to Him we are good, He knows our hearts.

Hallelujah for that!!!