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Saturday, August 29, 2009

My own retreat

My husband is unemployed and has searched for work since January. I am self employed making little income. I have PSVT, a heart condition, which requires monthly medication. I have severe IBS which also requires monthly medication. We have no health insurance. I sat down to budget this morning and sighed a breath of relief when I realized that if I shifted due dates on bills that we would be okay!!!! I checked the mail afterwards and received a wakeup call. We need $900 extra dollars within the next month (forgot that our vehicles were both due for tag renewals on his birthday & his life insurance policy is about to expire). Well, so much for budgeting.

Things are tight everywhere right now. There are so many families that are suffering financially just as much if not way worse than we are. There are people I know who do not have any financial problems, but their health is severely failing. Also, I know people whose marriages are in need of great repair.

I found myself becoming very sad when hit with all of this. I needed to think and wrap my head around this. I wanted to figure out how we can make this work for ourselves. So, I went outside and saw the beauty of the sun, the clouds in the sky, and felt how nice the weather is today. It has been really hot and humid lately but God has blessed us with a perfect day to be outside and enjoy nature. I started to feel my spirit lifting as I decided I could not handle it alone and chose to hand it all over to God and allow Him to take care of our needs. However, I have to admit that I still feel a sense of the blah’s.

Upon turning to God’s word for direction I came across Luke 5:16 which says: “but He withdrew himself to the wilderness, and prayed.” I was so thankful when I came across this verse. This verse is speaking of Jesus. Prior to this passage Luke 5 is telling us of all the great miracles and healing that Jesus was performing. He allowed Simon to catch a multitude of fish after he had been fishing all night unsuccessful. Jesus had healed a man with leprosy causing a great multitude of people to rush towards him for preaching and their very own healing. These events so overwhelmed Christ that He had to go off by himself and pray. After He did, He was revived and able to serve the Lord once again. Even Christ needed a break from all that He was responsible for.

I really feel God calling me to go off alone and pray and offer it all to Him. I will obey. For I know He is the only one who can make all the wrongs in my life, right. His promise to be here and never forsake me is the one constant and unchanging thing in my life. I choose today to let it go and give it all to Him. I know He will not desert me.

If you are feeling overwhelmed in your life right now, it does not matter the circumstance, retreat to your own solitude and hand it over to the One who can and will handle it.

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